Ok so its not all sunshine, sea, and paradise here, just thought I’d let you know.
Its not so easy to move around the other side of the world like on the TV and yes people do it every day but it doesn’t mean its easy.
The sorting out our house, the shipping, the saying goodbye, the finding somewhere to live, where to get your groceries from, the finding doctors, dentists etc, the getting to know your way around, the starting a new routine, all of it, is not that hard, you just get on with it and are carried along with the excitement. It’s sort of never ending but its easy.
But then what, you’ve “settled in” as people say. You’re constantly comparing what is here but isn’t at home and vice versa. Why life is better and worse here. Also what My Steve and I ask each other from time to time, “if you had to choose now would you stay or go home?” These things go through our minds ALL the time. This is not so easy, the emotional stuff.
The what will the next few years look like, what am I going to do with myself? this has been on my mind for 9 months or so now and has caused me the greatest worry without a doubt. You might think its an easy decision to make, I don’t have to work, My Steve works hard enough for both of us to live, so I can just be a lady of leisure, right?
Well I feel odd, I’ve tried it and it feels weird. I feel I have adjusted to being on the other side of the world more than not working. I have an opportunity to do what ever I like. A great blank canvas of possibilities. I have had ideas, so many ideas it was driving me slightly loopy so I started an ideas diary to put them all in. I’ve made plans, I’ve made decisions and then I’ve changed my mind. Something about the idea wasn’t quite driving me on as much as I needed and in fact I came to a stop and generally did some cleaning or did my Steves expenses, yawn yawn.
I have been going on a road trip in my head and I have found I stop and go shopping A LOT on the way. I stop and will go into any shop which has sparkles and a slice of paradise. I have been into a book store and found myself to be an author of a very well loved series of children’s books about George our Beagle. There was a que outside and my name was in lights, I was going to a signing, MY book signing.
I went to a clothes store which stocked my designs. All made in Australia, all responsibly made using high quality materials. I had a loyal following who couldn’t wait to get their hands on my next collecion and bloggers wrote about my creations all across the world.
I went to a cafe where I was going to work on some designs for many Australian companies, in my own time, to my own schedule, cherry picking the best projects and companies to work with, learning along the way, jetting off to meetings with my designs like a total professional, NO bumpkins allowed here!
I was a volunteer working with animals and conservation.
And finally I’ve left the shops and headed for the beach. I’ve been for a fantastic surf, and I’ve laid out with a great book and soaked up the sun and said to my self how lucky I was to not have to work and to be so glamourous lying on this beach right now, ha!
I’ve stopped outside a school and even toiled with the idea “maybe I should have kids”, every woman here my age has kids in tow. Everything revolves around kids here, the day, what activities there are, socialising, its all mums and kids. But NO I should not have kids, not a good plan at all! Seriously why would I have kids when I don’t want them, with a husband who is away frequently and my family and friends are on the other side of the world?
So you can see, I have been on a merry old journey in my head and not one stop made me want to stay, untill now.
Based on what I know AND feel, I’ve made a decision and so far I am working on it. I feel more definate this is right, so I hope this feeling sticks around. I’m pretty excited about the possibilities right now but also pretty scared too because what if I change my mind again?????
Grrrrr, so for now I’ll keep what I’m working on a little secret so that when I share it I can really share it and say I am ‘Doing’ something.
BTW: I am now an expat blogger, (see the button in my side bar) there are expats blogging about their experiences and this sums my blog up most at the moment so I have joined them. Amazing stories and experiences which I can now relate to, a year ago I could not have said that.